Lasting relationships require preparation...

At the church where I serve, we are in the middle of a sermon series entitled Relationships vs Relationsinks. During this series, we are discovering what the letters that make up the Bible have to say about lasting relationships. This week, I would like for us to spend our time together talking about a timeless truth that is often minimized and ignored when it comes to lasting relationships. Due to how our culture views love and relationships, this timeless truth is often missed.

We discover this timeless truth in a section of a letter that is recorded for us in the Old Testament of our Bibles called the book of Proverbs. It is in this section of this letter that we see the wisest man who ever lived make a profound statement that reveals this timeless truth. So, let’s look at this statement together, beginning in Proverbs 14:15:

The naive believes everything, But the sensible man

considers his steps

In this proverb, we see Solomon communicate a proverb that contrasts two different types of people. To understand the significance of Solomon’s statement here, we first need to understand what proverbs are and how they function. Proverbs are little slices of truth about the way things generally happen in life, but not always.

In other words, while proverbs are not iron clad promises, proverbs are little slices of truth that have been discovered from multiple people as a result of common experiences over time. So, reading proverbs is like surrounding yourself with older, wiser, and more experienced people who can provide you advice about how life generally works.

With that in mind, we see Solomon contrast two different types of people. The fist type of person Solomon refers to as naïve. Now the word naïve, in the language that this letter was originally written in, literally means to be simple. A naïve person is a person who is gullible and easily deceived. A naïve person tends to be careless and is easily misled.

Solomon then reveals the consequences that await the naïve person. The naïve person, according to Solomon believes everything. Because the naïve person is careless; because the naïve person is gullible, the naïve person is easily deceived into believing everything. Now this word believed is the same word that is translated trust in the Bible and literally means to entrust oneself with complete confidence to someone or something. So, the naïve person carelessly places their trust in what they hear with the result that they are deceived and misled.

Solomon then contrasts the naïve person with the sensible person. A sensible person is one who is shrewd or careful. And because the sensible person is shrewd and careful, they consider their steps. The word consider here literally means to consider and discern so as to have insight and understanding.  But what does Solomon mean when he says the sensible man considers his steps?

When Solomon uses the word steps, this word refers to the course, conduct, and consequences that occur in one’s life. This word refers to the lifestyle that one lives and the consequences that the lifestyle produces. This word refers to the direction that one takes as they travel on the pathway of life.

Think of it this way. The course, conduct, and consequences of our lives are determined by each step that we take in our lives. The direction of our lives determines the destination that we arrive at in our lives. And that direction is determined by each step that we take in our day to day lives.

Solomon’s point here is that a careless and gullible person will not consider how the course and conduct of their lives will affect the consequences that they experience. The careless and gullible person will not take the time or effort to gain insight as to where the direction of their life and lifestyle is taking them. And as a result, they will suffer the consequences of their carelessness later in life.

By contrast, the sensible person considers the decisions that impact the direction of their lives in a way that provides them the insight to see the destination that they are heading towards. The sensible person prepares for the future by taking the time and effort to gain insight when it comes to the direction of their lives. The sensible person will carefully prepare for the future by asking questions and evaluating the direction of their life and lifestyle so as to be successful later in life.

And it is in this proverb that we discover a timeless truth when it comes to lasting relationships. And that timeless truth is this: Lasting relationships require preparation. In order to experience lasting relationships, we must prepare ourselves to become the right person. In order to experience lasting relationships, we must prepare ourselves so that the course, conduct, and consequences of our lives produce committed and lasting relationships.

You see, marriage is not about love. Instead marriage is about commitment. People who are in love get married, but at the end of the day, marriage is about making a covenant commitment to one another before God. Yet, while it is easy to make a commitment, it is much more difficult to keep that commitment. And if we do not take the time to prepare for the commitment to lasting relationships, the harsh reality is that we will not be able to keep our commitment to lasting relationships. 

Now you may find yourself pushing back to what I just said. You might be objecting to what I just said. If I have just described you, here is the thing; this timeless truth plays itself out in every aspect of our lives. Let me give you an example.

If I told you that next Sunday, I am committing to preach the entire sermon in Spanish; do you think that I could keep that commitment? Since I do not speak Spanish; and if I spent the next week not even looking at any Spanish, do you think I could keep that commitment? Of course not. If I told you that I am committing to run a five-minute mile next month, but was not going to work out at all for the next month, do you think that I could keep that commitment? You see, our commitments are only as good as our preparation to keep those commitments.

That is why we are such a stickler for premarital counseling at the church where I serve. That is why we are often accused of not wanting to marry people. We are such a stickler for premarital counseling because we believe that our commitments are only as good as our preparation. Lasting relationships are the product of lifelong preparation to keep one’s commitment to one another.

Tomorrow, I would like to begin asking and answering some common questions and giving some timeless advice to help you prepare for the future as you strive to become the right person that the person you are looking for is looking for…