This
week, we are looking at a story from the very first letter in the Bible, called
the book of Genesis. Yesterday, we saw Judah chose to disconnect from his
family and connect with this culture. By developing a friendship with a man named Hirah, who was from the
land of Canaan. Judah’s close
relationship with Hirah began to change how he viewed the world. As time went
on, the influence of that relationship led Judah to marry someone who also
embraced the culture of the land of Canaan, which further influenced his view
of God and the world. And the influence of his relationship with his wife led
Judah to guide Er to marry Tamar who also embraced the culture of the land of
Canaan. With each relationship Judah moved further away from doing what was
right in God’s sight.
While Judah’s relationships moved him further away from
God, his son Er was wholeheartedly opposed to God. After the Lord responded to
Er’s selfishness and rebellion by killing him on the spot, Moses tells us that
Judah commanded his son Onan to have sex with Tamar so that she could have a
child to carry on the name of Er. You see, Judah is not concerned about taking
care of his daughter in law Tamar; he is only concerned about his dead son. Now
if that is not strange enough, look what happens next in verse 9:
Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his
brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring
to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He
took his life also. Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, "Remain
a widow in your father's house until my son Shelah grows up"; for he
thought, "I am afraid that
he too may die like his brothers." So Tamar went and lived in her father's
house.
Moses tells us that instead of fulfilling his
responsibility to help Tamar become pregnant and have a child to carry on his
older brother’s name, Onan wasted his seed on the ground. So, Onan would
basically have sex with Tamar and then withdrawal from her in order to prevent
conception from occurring. However, to fully understand what Onan was doing
here, here is some additional information. The first piece of information we
need is that the word when in verse 9, in the language that this letter was
originally written in, literally means whenever. So Onan repeatedly slept with
Tamar for the pleasure, but refused to follow through.
In addition, Onan was putting his own interests before
that of Tamar and Tamar’s future child. You see, if Tamar had a son, then
Tamar’s son would get the inheritance. However, if Tamar remained a childless
widow, then Onan would receive the inheritance. Moses tells us that Onan’s
behavior was displeasing to the Lord, so He took his life also. The Lord
responded to Onan’s selfishness and rebellion by killing him as well.
What made Onan’s sin so displeasing to the Lord is that
while Onan gave the appearance that he was being responsible by sleeping with
Tamar, in reality he was deceiving others. Onan slept with his sister in law
because he did not want the humiliation and shame that would come from that
refusal. Onan slept with Tamar for the pleasure and the perception of
responsibility while actually refusing to fulfill his responsibility by
withdrawing.
Onan was not killed by God because he practiced birth
control. Onan was killed by God for his selfish rebellion and deception of
others and for using Tamar for pleasure like a prostitute. Moses tells us that
Judah, unaware of Onan’s selfish rebellion and deception, responded to the
death of Onan by sending Tamar to live with her father as a widow.
Now for Tamar, this was one of the few options that she
had. At this time in history, a widow could either remarry a brother in law or
another man, remain celibate and attempt to support herself, which was very
difficult in the culture of the day, or return to her father’s house. And since
Judah’s youngest son Shelah was too young to marry Tamar, Judah promises Tamar
that she is engaged to Shelah, then sends her to live with her father until
Shelah grew up.
However, Judah basically lied to Tamar by promising a
marriage to Shelah, all the time knowing the he would not give Shelah to Tamar
in marriage. You see, Judah was not concerned about Tamar, but believed that
Tamar was the problem and did not want the same fate to occur to Shelah. Judah sent
Tamar to live with her father so that he would not be responsible to take care
of her. Now if you think the story could not get any stranger, look what
happens next in verse 12:
Now after a considerable time Shua's
daughter, the wife of Judah, died; and when the time of mourning was ended,
Judah went up to his sheepshearers at Timnah, he and his friend Hirah the
Adullamite. It was told to Tamar, "Behold, your father-in-law is going up
to Timnah to shear his sheep." So she removed her widow's garments and
covered herself with a veil,
and wrapped herself, and sat in the gateway of Enaim, which is on the road to
Timnah; for she saw that Shelah had grown up, and she had not been given to him
as a wife.
Moses explains that after spending years living with her
father as a widow, Tamar came to the realization that Judah had lied to her.
Shelah was now old enough to be given in marriage, but Judah failed to follow
through on his promise that the two would be married. And Tamar’s realization
of Judah’s deception, combined with the death of Judah’s wife, led Tamar to
come up with her own deceptive plan.
After Judah had mourned over the death of his wife, he
and his Canaanite friend Hirah headed on an out of town trip to a nearby town
to oversee the shearing of his flock of sheep. In the culture of the day this
was a festive time of celebration, with lots of eating and drinking, similar to
an Oktoberfest celebration today. Tamar, upon hearing that Judah would be
traveling to this celebration, decided that she would deceive Judah by dressing
like a prostitute and stationed herself at the gateway of Enaim, which would
have been a prominent street corner that Judah would have to pass by.
Tamar believed that Judah would be vulnerable to
deception as a result of his newly single status and partying mindset as he
traveled to the big celebration. After making all of the necessary planning and
preparations, we see Tamar set this trap of deception for Judah in verse 15:
When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, for she had covered her
face. So he turned aside to her by the road, and said, "Here now, let me
come in to you"; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. And
she said, "What will you give me, that you may come in to me?" He
said, therefore, "I will send you a young goat from the flock." She
said, moreover, "Will you give a pledge until you send it?" He said, "What pledge
shall I give you?" And she said, "Your seal and your cord, and your
staff that is in your hand." So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him. Then
she arose and departed, and removed her veil and put on her widow's garments.
Moses tells us that when Judah saw Tamar on the street
corner by the gateway to the city, he assumed she was a prostitute, as the veil
covered her true identity. Judah then approached Tamar and got right down to
business. Judah basically says “Come on now; let me have sex with you”. Tamar responded
to Judah’s advances by deceitfully asking “what will you give me in trade or
pay me?” You see, Tamar let Judah set the price so that she would not be seen
as trying to take advantage of him financially.
However, while Judah set the price, it was Tamar who
demanded a pledge, which was a security deposit that would serve as collateral
for payment. And what Tamar demanded for the security deposit was Judah’s seal
and cord. If Tamar was making this demand today, she would be demanding Judah’s
driver’s license and credit cards. In addition, Tamar demands Judah’s staff,
which was another form of identification. Upon striking an agreement, Judah and
Tamar had sex. After their encounter, Judah headed off to the party, while
Tamar removed her costume and returned home to live as a widow.
And just as she had hoped and planned, Tamar became
pregnant. After attending the party, Judah returned home and attempted to send
payment to get back his I.D. and credit cards. However, there was a problem, as
we see in verse 20:
When Judah sent the young goat by
his friend the Adullamite, to receive the pledge from the woman's hand, he did
not find her. He asked the men of her place, saying, "Where is the temple
prostitute who was by the road at Enaim?" But they said, "There has
been no temple prostitute here." So he returned to Judah, and said,
"I did not find her; and furthermore, the men of the place said, 'There
has been no temple prostitute here.'" Then Judah said, "Let her keep
them, otherwise we will become a laughingstock. After all, I sent this young
goat, but you did not find her."
While Judah wanted to pay the
prostitute, more importantly, Judah wanted to get his I.D. and credit cards
back. So Judah sends his Canaanite friend with payment. However, Hirah is
unable to find the prostitute and returned home to tell Judah the news. Judah
not wanting to be viewed as someone who was taken advantage of and tricked by a
prostitute decided to give up on his attempt to get back his possessions.
Judah, who was more concerned with his reputation than doing the right thing,
then justifies and rationalizes his selfishness and rebellion by saying “hey,
at least I tried”.
However, Judah was not prepared
for what would happen next. We will look at what happened next on Friday…
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