This
week we are looking at a section of a letter that is recorded of us in the New
Testament of the Bible called the book of Ephesians. Yesterday, we looked on as
a man named Paul commanded
wives to willingly place themselves under the leadership of their husbands in a
way that follows their leadership in a marriage relationship.
And Paul seems to add to the tension when he states that
wives are to be subject as to the Lord. In other words women are to willingly
place themselves under their husband’s leadership in the same manner that they
are to place themselves under the leadership of Jesus.
We talked about the reality that the tension that we tend
to feel fill a room when we discuss what the Bible has to say about the
relationship between men and women within a marriage, especially when it comes
to these verses, often flows from two specific areas of confusion. The first area
of confusion that can often arise when we talk about the idea of leadership or
authority within a marriage relationship, which is due to how our culture
attempts to portray God’s design when it comes to a women’s role in a marriage.
This first area of confusion that surrounds the
stereotypes of women is compounded by a second area of confusion that can often
arise when we talk about leadership and authority within a marriage
relationship, which is the tendency in our culture to confuse value and roles.
For example, while every member of the trinity has the same nature, essence,
and value, they have different roles, responsibilities, and authority.
God the Father is the first among equals; God the Father
exercises the leadership and authority role in the relationship amongst the
Trinity. Jesus and the Holy Spirit, while equal in value and worth to God the
Father, fall under and follow His leadership. We see Jesus do this throughout
the gospels. And we see Paul talk about this reality throughout his letters
that he wrote to various churches.
Another example is the twelve disciples. While there were
twelve disciples, and all twelve were equal in their value and worth as
disciples, Peter was the first amongst equals. Peter was the leader that the
rest of the disciples followed in terms of leadership and authority. We see
this throughout the book of Acts.
Today, we will see that this same principle also applies
to God’s design for relationships in humanity when it comes to men and women
within marriage. We see the mutual value and worth of men and women revealed
for us in Genesis 1:27:
God created
man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He
created them.
Both men and women were created by God in His relational
image and are of equal value and worth in His sight. And because of that
reality, men and women are to be treated with equal value, respect and worth by
one another. To treat a woman any other way contradicts the crystal clear
teaching of God’s word.
In Genesis 2 we read that God formed man from the dust of
the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. God then gave
Adam a job to tend the garden and name the animals and just one command to
follow; don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But, as Adam
named all the animals, he did not find a helper suitable for him and we read
the first time that God said that something was not good; it is not good for
man to be alone.
So God caused Adam to fall to sleep and took one of his
ribs and formed Eve, the first woman. Ladies that is why we men do not
understand you, we don’t understand you because we were asleep when it happened.
And as God brought Eve into Adam’s presence, we see Adam’s response and God’s
design for marriage revealed for us, beginning in Genesis 2:22:
The LORD God
fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her
to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my
flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For
this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his
wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked
and were not ashamed.
Adam and Eve were both naked and not ashamed because they
were able to be totally transparent and vulnerable with one another. They were
united in their love for God and one another and viewed one another with equal
value and worth.
Yet while Adam and Eve had equal value and worth in God’s
creation, they had different roles and responsibilities to fulfill; Adam was to
exercise a role of leadership and authority as first among equals by lovingly
leading, providing, and protecting Eve. And Eve was to lovingly coming under
and following Adam’s leadership in a way that allows for her spiritual growth
and good.
And just like our first parents while men and women have
equal value and worth in God’s creation, men and women have different roles and
responsibilities to fulfill; men are to exercise a role of leadership and
authority as first among equals by lovingly leading, providing, and protecting
women in ways that are appropriate to their relationship. Women are to fulfill
their role in relationships by lovingly coming under and following godly male
leadership in a way that allows for growth in their relationship with Christ
and to exercise the gifts that God has given them.
You see, the problem with the stereotypes that we looked
at yesterday is that none of them are found in the Bible when it comes to the
role that women have in a marriage relationship. First, as we will discover
next week, unlike Doormat Dora, God’s design when it comes to the role of men
in a marriage relationship does not promote the idea of a woman being a docile
doormat. The claim that a Biblical view of the role of women promotes doormats
and encourages abuse is both false and slanderous.
Second, unlike Dipstick Danielle, nowhere is Scripture do
we see God promote the idea of weak willed, unintelligent women. What the Bible
does promote are women who study and think hard about the message and teachings
of Jesus and how they are to apply these truths to their lives. And the pages
of the Bible are filled with strong willed and courageous women. Women like
Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, Esther and Mary, just to name a few. A Biblical view of
women promotes women who can swim against the cultural tide and critically
think for themselves.
Third, unlike Kitchen trapped Kathy, the Bible does not
teach that woman are to be homebound. What the Bible does teach is that part of
a woman’s role in the home is to help create and maintain a welcoming
environment where the marriage and family is nurtured and can grow. However, as
we will see next week, this does not mean that she has to do all the chores or
that the home is the sum of her existence. And for those of you who get hyper
spiritual on this particular issue, I would simply direct you to Proverbs 31,
where the woman described as the standard for women to follow not only managed
a household-she also ran a business.
Fourth, one of the great meanings and blessings is to
bear children and raise them in a way that promotes their good and God’s glory.
Yet, unlike Baby-popping Bertha, the Bible teaches that while marriage and
motherhood is a blessing, it is not a woman’s ultimate aim and goal. A woman’s
ultimate goal, just like men, is to live their lives in such a way that reveals
and reflects Christ and advances the kingdom mission we have been given. Marriage is neither absolute nor eternal. What is absolute and eternal
is that we are to live a life that is engaged in a relationship with Jesus
Christ and the mission that He has given us.
And fifth, unlike repressed Rita, the Bible does not
teach that women are second class citizens when it comes to exercising their
spiritual gifts talents and abilities in the church. As a matter of fact, what
the Bible teaches is that there is only one thing that a woman cannot do when
it comes to serving in a local church. The one thing that a woman cannot do is
be in the leadership position of an Elder or any position that requires the
qualifications of an Elder. The pages of the Bible is filled with examples of
woman who invested their time, talents, and treasure into God’s kingdom mission
in a way that resulted in God’s glory and in the spiritual good and growth of
others.
Now a natural and great question that arises here is
“well Dave if God really designed marriage relationships to be like this, then
why doesn’t my husband do what he is supposed to do? Why doesn’t he lovingly,
lead, protect, and provide for me?” Or you may be thinking “Well Dave, if this
is the case, if this is God’s design, then why do I want to push back against
this so hard?”
These are great questions to ask, and Friday, we will
discover the answer...
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