Embracing our identity as a follower of Jesus as a child...

At the church where I serve, we have been spending our time together at a letter that is recorded for us in the New Testament of our Bibles called the book of Ephesians. And as we look at this letter, our hope and our prayer has been that God would enable us to see our true identity, the identity that He designed us to live in, so that we would live our day to day lives in light of our true identity.

This week, I would like for us to pick up where we left off last week. And as we jump back into the next section of this letter that the Apostle Paul wrote to early followers of Jesus at the church at Ephesus, we will see the Apostle Paul focus on the dynamic, or sometimes just the dynamite, that describes the relationships that occur between parents and children in families.

For the past twenty seven years, I have had the privilege of working with students and families in a variety of roles. And during my time working at a juvenile jail, as a probation officer supervising troubled teenagers, as a Student Ministries Pastor serving Jr. High, Sr. High and College aged students, or now in my current role as Pastor, I have experienced a common theme or thread that runs through the conflict and struggles that many families experience.

And that common theme and thread is this: much of the conflict that families experience between parents and children is the result of individuals within the family failing to live out their identity when it comes to their roles and responsibilities within the family. You have to look no further than popular culture to see this play out.

In the last several years, we have seen several very public cases where celebrity’s lives have run off the rails while their parents attempt to be their child’s B.F.F. and Facebook buddy, happily club-hopping and dancing on tables with their children in an attempt to relive their childhood identity. And we have also seen increasing instances in our culture where children are in essence parenting their younger brothers, sisters, and even parents as a result of parents who are ill equipped, unprepared, and unwilling to be parents.

So this week I would like for us to discover how our identity as a follower of Jesus impacts the roles and responsibilities that parents and children have within family relationships. And as we look at next section of a letter that the Apostle Paul wrote to the church of Ephesus, we will discover two timeless and powerful truths, one for children and one for parents, that will enable us to see our true identity, the identity that He designed us to live in, so that we would live our day to day lives in light of our true identity. So let’s look at this section of this letter together, beginning in Ephesians 6:1:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.

Paul begins this section of his letter to the church at Ephesus by addressing the roles and responsibilities that children have when it comes to God’s design for family relationships. Paul commands children to obey your parents in the Lord. Now when Paul uses the word obey here, this word, in the language that this letter was originally written in, not only means to follow instructions.

In addition, this word conveys the sense of being subject to one who has a position of leadership and authority. Paul’s point here is that children are to willingly place themselves under the leadership of their parents in a way that follows their leadership. Children are to obey their parent in the Lord. In other words, children are to willingly place themselves under their parent’s leadership in the same manner that they are to place themselves under the leadership of Jesus.

Now a natural question that has arisen in the hearts and minds of children throughout history when it comes to obeying our parent’s instructions can be summarized in a simple three letter word: “why”? The Apostle Paul, anticipating this question, provides the answer for us by stating for this is right. This phrase reveals the reality that just like the other relationships within a family, children have certain obligations and responsibilities that God desires to be met when it comes to the family.

God has a design for family relationships and part of His design is that children willing place themselves under their parent’s leadership and authority. Paul then reinforces why it is right for children to willingly place themselves under their parents leadership by pointing back to one of God’s commands to the Jewish people which is recorded for us in another letter in our Bible called the book of Exodus.

In Exodus 20:12, as part of the Ten Commandments, we see God command the Jewish people to honor their father and mother. Now when the Bible talks about honoring someone, it is the idea of showing a high regard or respect for someone. Paul quotes this commandment to reveal for us the reality that when children willingly place themselves under their parent’s leadership and authority we are fulfilling this commandment by showing them the regard and respect that they deserve as parents.

The Apostle Paul then explains that this is the first of the Ten Commandments that is accompanied by a promise. In other words, our positive response of following this commandment results in a promise fulfilled by God. The promise that God attaches to this command is twofold and is revealed for us in verse 3.

First, Paul explains that children are to live their lives in a way that shows regard and respect for their parents by willingly placing themselves under their leadership so that it may be well with you. And children, we know this to be true don’t we?  When we respect our parents and follow their instructions, things tend to go much smoother at home don’t they? There is less fighting, there is less yelling, and there is less nagging. Children and students, if you are not sure that this is the case, I have an experiment for you to do this week to test God’s promise; whenever your parents ask you to do something, just say o.k. and do it the first time. See what happens. See whether or not it will be well with you.

Second, Paul explains that children are to live in a way that shows regard and respect for their parents by willingly placing themselves under their leadership that you may live long on the earth. Now a natural temptation is to view this statement in a similar way to what I occasionally experienced when I did not show my parents respect or follow their instructions. Occasionally, when I failed to follow the instructions of my parents or showed disrespect to them, my father would say “just remember I brought you into this world and I can take you out of this world”.

Maybe some of us still hear our parents say something like that to us. And while that statement was true, that is not all that Paul is reminding us of here. Paul is not simply talking about the quantity or length of our years on earth. Paul is also reminding us of the reality that the quality or how well our years go on earth are connected to how we respond to our parents leadership and authority.

And it is here that we see the Apostle Paul reveal for us a timeless truth when it comes to how a child's unique identity as a follower of Jesus impacts their role and responsibility within a family relationship. And that timeless truth is this: Embracing our identity as a follower of Jesus as a child by following the leadership of your parents will influence how you will follow leadership in the future.

Children and students, here’s the thing; no matter how old you become, no matter how smart or strong you become, no matter how much money you make, there will always be someone who is in leadership and authority over you. If you do not think that is the case, just look at the lives and listen to the conversations of the adults who exercise leadership within your family, whether it is your parents, your grandparents, or other relatives. There is always someone in our lives that we are responsible to report to and answer to when it comes to our attitude and actions.

And your willingness to embrace your identity as a follower of Jesus as a child by placing yourselves under the leadership of your parents will influence and impact your willingness to place yourself under the leadership of others in the future. Your willingness to embrace your identity as a follower of Jesus as a child by placing yourselves under the leadership and authority of your parents in a way that regards and respects them will influence and impact how you will respond to the leadership and authority of teachers, employers, and other authority figures in the future.

Now, children and students, just like the men last week, and just like the ladies two weeks ago, you may be pushing back by thinking “but Dave you don’t know my mom. You don’t know my dad. You do not know how they treat me. Paul would not have written that if he knew my parents”.

My response would be yes he would have, because this has absolutely nothing to do with your parents. And this has everything to do with you. You see I have some good news and some bad news for. The good news is that God will not hold you responsible or accountable for how good or bad your parents are. God will deal with your parents on how your parents treat you.

The bad news is that God will hold you 100% accountable for how you treat your parents. And how you choose to treat your parent’s sets in place patterns that you will follow the rest of your life. Because your willingness to embrace your identity as a follower of Jesus as a child by following the leadership of your parents will influence how you will follow leadership in the future.        

Tomorrow, we will see Paul turn his attention to the roles and responsibilities that parents have when it comes to their relationship with their children…