Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Jealousy That Fuels Comparison and Competition...


At the church where I serve, we are spending our time together looking at a section of the very first letter that is recorded for us in the Bible, called the book of Genesis, where we are traveling on a journey with a man named Jacob and his family. This week, I would like for us to spend our time together by jumping back into this section of the book of Genesis, where we find Jacob now married to two women in the span of eight days.
 
Jacob remained married to Leah, who he did not love and married Rachel who he did love. And as we jump back into this tale of twisted deception, we are going to discover another timeless truth that can powerfully impact our relationship with God and others. So let’s discover this truth together, in Genesis 29:31:

Now the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, and He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah conceived and bore a son and named him Reuben, for she said, "Because the LORD has seen my affliction; surely now my husband will love me." Then she conceived again and bore a son and said, "Because the LORD has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also." So she named him Simeon. She conceived again and bore a son and said, "Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons." Therefore he was named Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son and said, "This time I will praise the LORD." Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing.

Moses brings us back into this story by revealing God’s knowledge of the situation. You see, the Lord was not surprised at what had happened. The Lord was fully aware of the reality that Jacob loved Rachel, while Leah was unloved. Actually, the word unloved, in the language that this letter was originally written in, means to be hated or slighted.

You see, Jacob did not want to put up with Leah, because he was not interested in her. Jacob was in love with Rachel and was only married to Leah because he had been deceived. And as a result, Leah was slighted by Jacob and was afflicted by the lack of love that she was shown by her husband.

Maybe you can relate to Leah. Maybe you feel unloved and slighted by those closest to you. The Lord, who was fully aware of Leah’s hurt and pain that was afflicting her, responded by enabling her to become pregnant. Rachel, however, who was the focus of Jacob’s affections, was barren. In other words, Rachel was unable to have children.

Moses tells us that Leah gave birth to a son whom she named Reuben. Leah thought that by giving Jacob a son, he would respond by falling in love with her. However, that is not what happened. Leah then gave birth to another son, named Simeon. But once again, Jacob responded with indifference.  Leah was then became pregnant and gave birth to a third son whom she named Levi. Leah hoped that God’s blessing of a third son would result in her experiencing a connection with Jacob. However, Leah was once again left unloved.

You see, Leah wrongly thought that introducing a child into the relationship would improve the relationship. Leah wrongly thought that her identity and worth was to be found in gaining her husband’s love and approval. Maybe you can identify with Leah. If you are in that place here is the thing: Leah learned the timeless reality that the introduction of children does not change the relationship between the husband and wife for the better. Instead, the introduction of children only amplifies the current state of the relationship.

Leah fell into the timeless trap of mistakenly thinking that having a child would win her the man. Moses tells us that after becoming pregnant a fourth time, Leah shifted her focus from her finding her identity by earning her husband’s love to finding her identity in God’s love. After giving birth, Leah named her fourth son Judah, which means praise. While Leah was praising the Lord for the blessing of her four children, Rachel had a far different response, which Moses reveals for us beginning in Genesis 30:1:

Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she became jealous of her sister; and she said to Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die." Then Jacob's anger burned against Rachel, and he said, "Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?" She said, "Here is my maid Bilhah, go in to her that she may bear on my knees, that through her I too may have children." So she gave him her maid Bilhah as a wife, and Jacob went in to her. Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. Then Rachel said, "God has vindicated me, and has indeed heard my voice and has given me a son." Therefore she named him Dan. Rachel's maid Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. So Rachel said, "With mighty wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister, and I have indeed prevailed." And she named him Naphtali.

Rachel’s inability to give birth to children resulted in her giving birth to something else. And that something else was jealousy. Rachel became jealous of her sister Leah.  Now jealousy or envy is a desire to want what others have and not want others to have what they do have. You see, Rachel wanted the children that Leah had and did not want Leah to have the children that she did have.

And Rachel’s jealousy fueled a ridiculous demand toward her husband Jacob: Give me children, or else I am going to die. Rachel’s ridiculous demand resulted in an angry response from Jacob: "Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?" You see, Jacob wasn’t the one who was preventing Rachel from having children. After all, Jacob did not have fertility issues; he had clearly demonstrated that he was able to produce children. The problem was not Jacob.

Rachel responded to Jacob’s angry response by coming up with a plan: This plan, if communicated in the language we use in our culture today, would have sounded something like this: “Here is my servant Bilhah, marry her and have sex with her, and then if she has a child I will adopt her as my child”. Here we see Rachel, Just like Abraham’s wife Sarah, attempt to come up with her own plan instead of trusting God’s promises and plan. And just like Abraham, Jacob responds to Rachel’s plan by willingly participating in the plan.

Moses then tells us that the result of this plan was the birth of two more sons, who were named Dan and Naphtai. Rachel responds to the birth of these two sons by rejoicing over the plan’s success as though God had approved of her plan. You see, Rachel was so driven by jealousy with her sister Leah that she viewed her situation as a struggle for God’s favor. And as the story continues, in verse 9, we see Leah engage Rachel in this fight:

 When Leah saw that she had stopped bearing, she took her maid Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. Leah's maid Zilpah bore Jacob a son. Then Leah said, "How fortunate!" So she named him Gad. Leah's maid Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. Then Leah said, "Happy am I! For women will call me happy." So she named him Asher.

Leah jealousy responded to Rachel’s plan by copying her plan instead of trusting in God’s promises and plans. And as a result of Jacob marrying and having sex with Leah’s servant Zilpah, two more sons, named Gad and Asher, arrived on the scene. Now, who says the Bible is boring? I mean you could not find such drama in a reality T.V. show. Can you imagine what family dinners looked like? Can you imagine the tension? The emotion? The body language?

Tomorrow, we will see Moses gives us a glimpse into how dysfunctional this family had become as a result of the jealous competition between Rachel and Leah…

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