Resolving conflict requires prayerful preparation that is accompanied by repentance and restitution...

This week, we have been looking at a story in the very first letter that is recorded for us in the Bible, called the book of Genesis. Wednesday, we saw a man named Jacob respond to his role in his unresolved conflict with his older brother Eau with repentance and restitution. Jacob recognized that to resolve this conflict, he would need to demonstrate that he had changed and had a desire to make things right as a result of those changes.

Today, as Jacob spent the evening pondering the changes that had occurred in his life over the past twenty years and how he need to demonstrate those changes to his brother in repentance for the wrong that he had committed, we see God enter into this story in an amazing way in Genesis 32:22:

 Now he arose that same night and took his two wives and his two maids and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream. And he sent across whatever he had. Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. Then he said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But he said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." So he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." He said, "Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed." Then Jacob asked him and said, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And he blessed him there. So Jacob named the place Peniel, for he said, "I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved." Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh. Therefore, to this day the sons of Israel do not eat the sinew of the hip which is on the socket of the thigh, because he touched the socket of Jacob's thigh in the sinew of the hip.

Now place yourself in Jacob’s shoes. You are camping out alone, pondering all the possibilities of what would occur the following morning and out of the blue a man shows up and jumps you and starts taking you to the ground MMA style? And after you fend him off, the guy does not give up, but comes at you all night long? What would you be thinking?

As Jacob wrestled with the man throughout the night, it became apparent to Jacob that this was not simply a man. And as the night moved toward day, this man demonstrated that he was not simply a man by using a supernatural MMA move that dislocated Jacob’s hip. You see, Jacob was not wrestling with a man; Jacob was wrestling with God who came to earth in the appearance of a man. Jacob was wrestling with an Old Testament appearance of Jesus.

Jacob, recognizing that he was in the presence of a supernatural being, responds by hanging on and asking for a blessing. Jacob is then asked his name, which seems weird, doesn’t it? I mean doesn’t Jesus already know who He is dealing with here? So why ask? The answer to this question is directly related to the meaning of the name Jacob. Jacob literally means trickster, supplanter.

You see, by having to say his name, Jacob is reminded of his past character and conduct as a deceiver. Jesus then gives Jacob a new name Israel, which means to strive and persist with God. Jacob receives a new name to reveal the new character, conduct, and destiny that should mark his life. Jacob then responds to this encounter by naming the location Penuel, which means face of God. After encountering God in a bod, and as morning dawned, Moses records for us what happened next in Genesis 33:1:

Then Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. He put the maids and their children in front, and Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. But he himself passed on ahead of them and bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.

As Esau approaches in the distance, Jacob places himself between himself and his family and bowed to the ground seven times. You see, Jacob had prepared himself for this encounter. Jacob prepared by having a plan if things went sideways. Jacob had prepared by praying to God and acknowledged his fear and God’s position and promises. And Jacob had prepared to demonstrate his sorrow and repentance by preparing to give Esau restitution for his wrongs.

Jacob puts his preparation into practice by bowing to humble himself before his older brother and to demonstrate his sorrow and desire to resolve the conflict between them and reconcile their relationship. Jacob had prepared and prayerfully taken the initiative, but how would Esau respond? We see Esau’s response to Jacob’s actions in verse 4:

 Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. He lifted his eyes and saw the women and the children, and said, "Who are these with you?" So he said, "The children whom God has graciously given your servant." Then the maids came near with their children, and they bowed down. Leah likewise came near with her children, and they bowed down; and afterward Joseph came near with Rachel, and they bowed down. And he said, "What do you mean by all this company which I have met?" And he said, "To find favor in the sight of my lord." But Esau said, "I have plenty, my brother; let what you have be your own." Jacob said, "No, please, if now I have found favor in your sight, then take my present from my hand, for I see your face as one sees the face of God, and you have received me favorably. "Please take my gift which has been brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me and because I have plenty." Thus he urged him and he took it.

Esau responds to Jacob’s demonstration of sorrow and repentance by extending grace and forgiveness to Jacob. And while Esau did not need Jacob’s gift, Jacob pressed Esau to take the gift. Jacob pressed Esau because the gift was not simply about providing material blessings. Instead, the gift was about demonstrating a desire to right a relationship that went wrong. And as Esau and Jacob engage in their first conversation in over twenty years, we see Moses give us a glimpse into that conversation in verse 12:

Then Esau said, "Let us take our journey and go, and I will go before you." But he said to him, "My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds which are nursing are a care to me. And if they are driven hard one day, all the flocks will die. "Please let my lord pass on before his servant, and I will proceed at my leisure, according to the pace of the cattle that are before me and according to the pace of the children, until I come to my lord at Seir."

Esau responds to Jacob’s gifts by offering him land. However, Jacob responds to Esau’s offer by refusing his offer. Now a natural question that arises here is “why would Jacob refuse Esau’s offer? I thought Jacob wanted to resolve their conflict?” The reason why Jacob refused Esau’s offer was because his gift was restitution that was not to be reciprocated. In addition, while there was reconciliation between Jacob and Esau that does not mean that the relationship between Jacob and Esau was fully restored.

You see, while forgiveness and reconciliation is to be immediate, trust and restoration of a relationship to its previous condition is earned over time. And after over 20 years of distrust, the remnants of that distrust still lingered in Jacob’s mind. Also, God had directed him to travel to the land that He had promised them, which did not include Edom, which was the land that Esau was offering him. We see Esau make a second offer to Jacob in verse 15:

 Esau said, "Please let me leave with you some of the people who are with me." But he said, "What need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord." So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built for himself a house and made booths for his livestock; therefore the place is named Succoth. Now Jacob came safely to the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, when he came from Paddan-aram, and camped before the city. He bought the piece of land where he had pitched his tent from the hand of the sons of Hamor, Shechem's father, for one hundred pieces of money. Then he erected there an altar and called it El-Elohe-Israel.

Esau, concerned about Jacob and his family being vulnerable as they travel, offers Jacob some of his men to help provide protection for their trip back home. Jacob, however, declines Esau’s offer. Moses concludes this story by explaining that Esau returned to Edom, while Jacob entered into the land that God had promised his father and grandfather.

Upon arriving there safely, Jacob responded to the Lord’s presence, promises and activity in his life by building an altar. This altar was named El-Elohe-Israel, which literally means “God, the God of Israel”. Jacob responded to the Lord’s gift of His presence, promises, and a new name by embracing the Lord and his new name and destiny. And it is in this story that we see God reveal for us a timeless truth regarding the nature of conflict and how to resolve conflict. And that timeless truth is this: Resolving conflict requires prayerful preparation that is accompanied by repentance and restitution.

Just as it was for Jacob and Esau, just as it has been for humanity throughout history, conflict is not resolved by striking out in anger. And conflict is not resolved by walking out in fear. Instead conflict is resolved through prayerful preparation that is accompanied by repentance and restitution. Resolving conflict requires that we prepare ourselves by coming up with a plan that hopes for the best, but recognizes the possibility of the worst.

Resolving conflict requires that we prepare ourselves by praying to God in a way that acknowledges our fear and God’s position and promises. Resolving conflict requires that we prepare ourselves by repenting from our selfishness and rebellion against God and others that contributed to the conflict. Resolving conflict requires that we prepare ourselves by making restitution to the damages that we have inflicted on others as a result of the conflict. And resolving conflict recognizes that, while forgiveness and reconciliation is to be immediate, trust and restoration of a relationship to its previous condition is earned over time.

So how are you attempting to resolve conflict? Are you attempting to resolve conflict by striking out at others? Are you attempting to resolve conflict by walking out on others? How’s that working for you? Because resolving conflict requires prayerful preparation that is accompanied by repentance and restitution.