Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Lasting relationships are the result of men treating women with honor and respect instead of a possession that provides a service...


This week we are examining how our culture often views and treats women. Yesterday, we discovered that in our culture, women are more often than not viewed as a possession that provides a service. Popular culture views women as a commodity and places enormous pressure on women to raise their value in the eyes of men by how they look and how they perform.

Unfortunately, this is not a new phenomenon; this view of women as a possession has been around for thousands of years. As a matter of fact, in the Jewish culture of the first century, women were viewed by men in an incredibly negative manner. And then there was how women were viewed in the Roman culture of the first century. The Roman culture of the first century was male dominated culture where women were treated as possessions.

And it was into the male dominated culture that treated women as possessions, and in some cases, less than human, that Jesus entered into humanity. It was into this culture that Jesus began to engage and treat women in ways that left his disciples scratching their heads.

That is why when Jesus engaged in a conversation with a Samaritan woman in John chapter four, his disciples were so confused. Why would Jesus even take the time to engage a woman in such a conversation? I mean, just look at her; she’s a woman. That is why the Jewish religious leaders were so offended when Jesus engaged a woman in Luke Chapter 7 who was caught up in a lifestyle of sin.

They were offended because no self-respecting man would let a woman enter into their party, especially one who was used over and over again by men as a possession. They were offended because no man would extend grace in such a way to such a woman. No self-respecting man would allow a woman to provide financial support and be a part of His movement. And then Jesus called His closest followers together and said the following in John 13:34-35:

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

To which His Jewish disciples probably looked around and asked “what do you mean you want us to love one another as I have loved you? Does that include the women? You mean you want us to treat the women like you have treated the women? Yes, you are to treat the women just like I treated the women. Jesus, when you say all men will know, you mean just the men right? You mean the women to? Yes, the women too”.

Then after Jesus died and was raised again; after the birth of the church at Pentecost, early followers of Jesus began to proclaim the claims of Christ and message of the gospel throughout the Roman Empire. As the church began to spread throughout the empire, letters were written to these early churches. In one of these letters, which is in our Bible today as the book of Ephesians, a man named Paul said the following in Ephesians 5:25:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church

To which these early followers of Jesus, who lived in a Roman culture that dominated and subjugated women probably said “wait a minute, I have a question. What do you mean that we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church? Didn’t Christ die for the church? So are you saying we have to be willing to die for our wives? I can’t treat them as a possession that provides a service? I can’t treat them like a servant that meets a need? Yep. That’s what I am saying”.

Then, Peter, who was the leader of the early followers of Jesus, wrote a letter to followers of Jesus that were scattered throughout the Roman Empire. And as part of this letter, Peter makes a statement to early followers of Jesus that best summarizes how we are to view women. So this morning, let’s take a few minutes and look at this statement together. This statement is found in 1 Peter 3:7:

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

In this single statement, we see Peter provide two timeless commands as to how, as followers of Jesus, men are to view and treat women. First, Peter commands followers of Jesus throughout history to live with your wives in an understanding way. Now when Peter uses the phrase, live with your wives in an understanding way, this phrase conveys the sense of gaining an intellectual grasp of something.

Peter then unpacks what husbands are to gain an intellectual grasp of when it comes to their wives, with the phrase as with someone weaker, since she is a woman. Now it is important to understand that when Peter talks about women being weaker, he is not saying that women are less valuable than men.  Peter is not saying that women are of less worth than men. What Peter is saying with this phrase is that women are different than men. What Peter is saying with this phrase is that men and women have been created and wired differently to fulfill different roles and responsibilities. And intuitively we know this to be true, don’t we?
           
For example, while men and women have been designed by God with equal value and worth before God, they demonstrate strength in very different ways. As a general rule, men are physically stronger than women. As a general rule, men tend to bench press more than women. However, while men can bench more than women, women demonstrate and display strength in areas that make men shrivel and shrink. And men, if you don’t think that is the case, then you have probably never been in a room when a woman gives birth.

Another example involves how men and women relate to one another. Mark Driscoll once illustrated the difference between men and women by explaining that men are like a thermos, while women are like a goblet. Men are like a thermos: a thermos you can place in the back of a pickup truck and let it get tossed around; a thermos you can drop from a second story building; a thermos is designed in a way that it responds to circumstances in certain way. However, if you were to take a goblet and place it the back of a pickup truck; if you were to drop a goblet from a second story building, the goblet would respond to those circumstances much differently, wouldn’t it?

It is not that the goblet is less valuable than the thermos; as a matter of fact the opposite is the case. Instead, the goblet is different than the thermos; it has a different role and responsibility to fulfill. You see, men are like a thermos and women are like a crystal goblet. Both men and women are created in the image of God and have equal value and worth in God’s sight. Men and women are just created and wired differently.

Which is why Peter, in the second half of verse 7, provided a second command to followers of Jesus: show her honor. Now when Peter uses the word honor, here, this word refers to honor as a possession. In other words, honor here refers to the respect that one is to enjoy. So Peter here is commanding husbands to give their wives respect as a result of the commitment that they had made to their wives to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Peter then explained that the reason why they were to give their wives respect was due to the fact that she is a fellow heir of the grace of life. But that does that mean?

With this phrase, Peter is referring to God’s transformational intervention and activity in the world through Jesus that results in one experiencing eternal life in relationship with God.  Peter’s point is that both men and women are equal recipients of the inheritance that comes as a result of being a part of God’s kingdom community called the church. Both men and women equally have a new identity as a part of God’s kingdom community as a result of God’s transformational intervention and activity through Jesus in their lives.

Peter’s point here is that both men and women are equally valuable in God’s sight. Jesus entered into humanity and allowed Himself to be treated as though He lived our selfish and sinful lives so that God the Father could treat both men and women as though we lived Jesus perfect life. And because of the reality, we are to grant honor to women and treat women with respect.

But here is the part of this statement that we can pass over or overlook. Peter commands men to grant honor to women and treat women with respect so that your prayers will not be hindered. Here we see Peter reveal for us the reality that our relationship with God is impacted by how we treat women. Our vertical relationship with God is influenced by our horizontal relationship with women.

Men, do you feel like God is distant and disinterested in you? Men, do you feel like you have not experienced God’s presence or activity in your life for a while? Here’s the thing; God is not going to be present and active in your life as you are looking at porn on your computer. God is not going to be present and active in your life when you treat your spouse like a servant. God is not going to be present in your life when you treat women like a possession that provides you a service.

When we fail to give women the honor and respect that they deserve as an image bearer of God, then our relationship with God will suffer. And it is here that we discover another timeless truth when it comes to lasting relationships. And that timeless truth is this: Lasting relationships are the result of men treating women with honor and respect instead of a possession that provides a service.

Now I recognize that almost everything that I have written could be received as being “old fashioned”. Actually, what is old fashioned is men treating women as a possession that provides a service. What is old fashioned is men looking for a servant instead of a spouse.

You see, Jesus began the women’s liberation movement and Christianity has been the biggest proponent of women’s rights throughout history. It was early followers of Jesus that adopted baby girls that were left out to die of exposure. It was Christianity that has promoted the position that men and women are of equal value and worth in God’s eyes. It was Jesus and the message and teachings of Jesus that called for men to renew their minds and get rid of their stinking thinking when it came to how women were viewed and treated.

Friday, I will challenge men to renew their mind when it comes to how they view and treat women with their entertainment time in two specific areas...

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