What Do I Do Now if I Am Divorced?

This week, we are looking at the harsh reality that while marriage is designed to depict God's desire for a covenant commitment with humanity by revealing and reflecting Jesus Christ to the world, many marriages tend to mar that picture. Even many people who claim to be followers of Jesus do not have marriages that depict Jesus to the world.

And we have seen that we can misrepresent marriage when we are involved in a divorce, whether the divorce involves fellow Christians or nonchristians. We discovered that the issue is not divorce, but remarriage. The issue is when can someone who has been divorced enter into another covenant marriage relationship. In addition, God does not view marriage as a contract, which can be renegotiated or dissolved by either party. This is how many in our culture view marriage. God views marriage as a covenant, which can only be terminated through death or another covenant.

This is how we apply what the Bible states about marriage when it comes to the issue of divorce and remarriage: We believe that the Bible teaches that God allows divorce in instances of unfaithfulness/adultery and abandonment and that a person could be remarried if they were divorced for those reasons and if reconciliation with their former spouse is impossible, due to either death or the remarriage of the divorced spouse.

We also talked about two reactions that occur when people read Paul's words here. The first reaction is usually “these are some hard words to swallow. This is difficult to hear. So are you saying that I was wrong to do what I did? Are you saying that the Bible teaches that I cannot get remarried unless these things happen?” And if you find yourself in that place, I empathize with you and the situation you find yourself in. These can be very hard words to hear. And they are heard words to hear because of the reality that selfishness and sin have devastating effects and consequences. And while God’s forgiveness of sin is free, the consequences from sin can be devastating and costly.

The second reaction is this: So what do I do now? What do I do if I have failed to follow these principles? What do I do in light of my current circumstances? Do you have any lifeline that you can throw me here?” Fortunately, Paul provides us that lifeline in 1 Corinthians 7:17-24:

Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord's freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ's slave. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.

Paul provides for us a timeless and overarching principle with an explanation that serves as a guide for followers of Jesus to follow when it comes to how to move forward in terms of their relational futures. Paul is commanding the members of the church at Corinth and to us today that as followers of Jesus, we are to live out and conduct our daily lives in the position where God has sovereignly and currently placed us as followers of Jesus.

Paul then provides two examples that illustrate this principle. In the first example, Paul uses the issue of circumcision to explain that we are to live out our relationship as a follower of Jesus in our current relational state, instead of becoming focused on attempting to change our relational conditions. Paul then explains that the reason why they were to remain in their current relational state is due to the reality that what really matters to God is faithfulness to His teachings. Paul’s point is that honoring the covenant commitments that one has made is to be first and foremost in mind.

And because of that reality Paul reiterates the principle he communicated in verse 17 with a little different wording. Unlike the Corinthians, who were looking to change and alter their relational commitments as a result of their new found faith in Christ, Paul is calling them to remain faithful to the relational commitments that they had made.

Paul then uses the imagery of slavery to illustrate this principle. Paul’s point here was that just as the members of the church at Corinth were not to be overly concerned about how their social status might change as a result of their new relationship with Christ, they were not to become overly concerned about how to change their relational status as a result of their relationship with Christ.

Paul then hammers his point home by telling the members of the church at Corinth that they were bought with a price. Paul is again brings the members of the church at Corinth back to the reality of what Christ did to rescue us from our selfishness and sin at the cross. And because of what Christ paid to rescue us from our sin and bring us into covenant relationship with Him, Paul then concludes this section of his letter by reiterating, a third time the principle that each man is to remain in the condition in which he was called.

Paul’s point here is that as followers of Jesus, we are to serve and follow Jesus in the relational context that God has placed us. Becoming a follower of Jesus does not free us from the relational commitments that we have made; becoming a follower of Jesus frees us to love, serve, follow, and reflect Christ in the relational commitments we have made. Christians act unchristian, however and misrepresent marriage when we fail to serve God in the relational circumstances where He has us.

The most important point that Paul is making in these verses is that regardless of our past or our current circumstances, we are to faithfully follow Christ in our current circumstances, recognizing that it is not how we start life that matters, but it is how we finish life that counts.

So what does your marriage represent? How faithful are you being to represent God's design for marriage in your current circumstances? While there is no "redo" button on life, we can move forward in our relational futures with confidence by asking forgiveness for our failures and turning our lives to follow the timeless principles we have looked at this week.

Sunday, I will be answering some of the many questions that have been raised as part of our weekly time together. Hope to see you there, or you can listen online.