Disrespecting Singleness through Poor Marriages...

This week, we are looking at the issue of singleness. And in a section of a letter that Paul wrote to a church we see four ways that Christians can act unchristian by disrespecting singleness. We have discovered that we disrespect singleness when we fail to focus on the right attachments. We have also seen that we disrespect singleness when we fail to make the most of the season and when we fail to follow our consciences.

Today, we look at a fourth way that Christians act unchristian by disrespecting singleness. And that fourth way is that we disrespect singleness when those who are married fail to set an example. We see this way revealed for us in 1 Corinthians 7:39-40:

A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

Paul concludes his discussion and the issue of marriage and singleness by reinforcing the reality that we are bound to our marriage covenant as long as our spouses live. And while Paul specifically is addressing women who had become widows, the part of a timeless principle that is revealed for us is that those who have been married can only be remarried if they are freed from the covenant that they have made with their spouse. In this case, the widow is freed because her husband has died. The only other condition that exists where a person is freed from their covenant promise to their spouses to remarry is when reconciliation is impossible due to their previous spouse entering into another marriage covenant.

Paul then concludes this section of his letter by explaining that his point of view is that the widow would be happier if she remained a widow. Again, Paul is bringing the church and us here today, back to the reality that our focus is to be on following and serving the Lord in our current relational circumstances instead of focusing our energy on altering or changing those circumstances.

Paul’s point throughout his discussion on marriage and singleness is that as followers of Jesus, we are to serve and follow Jesus in the relational context that God has placed us. Becoming a follower of Jesus does not free us from the relational commitments that we have made; becoming a follower of Jesus frees us to love, serve, follow, and reflect Christ in the relational commitments we have made. Christians act unchristian, however and misrepresent marriage or singleness when we fail to serve God in the relational circumstances where He has us.

So what example does your marriage set for those who are single? And how are living in light of your current relational circumstances? Are you focused on faithfully following Jesus? Or are you focused on what you have or do not have in terms of relationships? And what do others see about God in how you are living your life today?