What happens when we have sex?

This week, we are having a blunt conversation about sex by looking at a section of a letter that is recorded for us in the Bible that was written by a man that we know today as the Apostle Paul to a church that was located in Corinth Greece, called the book of 1 Corinthians. This letter is so significant because of the amazing parallels between the Corinthian culture of Paul’s day and modern American culture. Just as in America, Corinthians tended to worship sex, just in a little more public and prominent way.

And the members of the church of Corinth had questions for Paul when it came to how they should engage in sex as followers of Jesus in the midst of this culture. Yesterday, we saw Paul

repeat a statement that the members of the church of Corinth had stated to him in defense of how they were behaving sexually: “all things are lawful for me”. The members of the church at Corinth believed that, as followers of Jesus, they now had the freedom to engage in wide range of sexual activities. “All things are lawful for me when it comes to how I express myself sexually” was their position before Paul.

Paul responded to the members of the church of Corinth’s claim that they had freedom to engage in a variety of sexual activities by pointing out two timeless realities. First, while God gives us the freedom to make choices when it comes to how we express ourselves sexually, those choices have consequences that are neither advantageous or beneficial. And while God gives us the freedom to make choices when it comes to how we express ourselves sexually, those choices can, and often do, enslave us in a lifestyle that ends up moving us away from God.

Then, in verse 13, Paul painted a word picture to explain that just like eating, sex is an appetite that is only satisfied when it is fed, and that satisfaction only lasts until the appetite reappears. Paul explained that we were not designed to be engaged in relationships that promote unlawful sexual intercourse, which are temporary in nature. Instead we were designed to have an eternal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

The core issue that Paul here is exposing is the issue of idolatry, which is the worship of something other than God as God. You see, for the members of the church at Corinth, their desire to have sexual freedom had become an idol; their pursuit of pleasure through sex was more important than their pursuit of their relationship with Jesus. And it was this worship of the sex that was moving them away from their worship of their Creator.

And in the same way today, we commit idolatry when we place our sexual appetites and pleasure over our relationship with Jesus. Paul then continued to respond to the belief that we should have sexual freedom and license in 1 Corinthians 6:15-17:

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.

 In verse 15, Paul uses a rhetorical question in order to introduce the well known and generally accepted fact that, as followers of Jesus, we are mystically and spiritually united with Christ. God right now sees us in Christ. This morning, if you are here and you are a follower of Jesus, God sees you in Christ. God does not see Dave Arnold, out there; God sees Dave Arnold in Christ as part of His body.

And in light of the reality that we are united mystically and spiritually in Christ, Paul asks the members of the church at Corinth if they should take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Paul then answered his questions with the strongest possible negative statement possible in the language that this was written in. But what does Paul mean when he asks whether they should take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?

In verse 16, the apostle provides the answer for us by introducing another well known and generally accepted fact that the church should know: “do you not know that the one who joins himself with a prostitute is one body with her?” To back up his point, Paul quotes part of Genesis 2:24 ‘the two shall become one flesh’. To understand what Paul is communicating here, we need to understand what happens when we have sex. When we have sex with someone, the very act of sexual intercourse causes two separate bodies to become one. The act of sex physically, emotionally, and even spiritually fuses two people together.

It’s kind of like a piece of duct tape. Now here is a question for you: have you ever tried to pull apart a piece of duct tape after it has been stuck together? Have you ever been able to pull apart a piece of duct tape after it has been stuck together in a way that the individual pieces remain as they were prior to being put together? No. Usually what happens is the glue is so strong that part of one part of the tape ends us remaining on the other part of the tape as you rip the tape apart, doesn’t it?  We never end up with a separation of the tape when we attempt to separate the tape, do we?

And just like that duct tape, when we have sex with someone, pieces of us remain attached to one another. So, a piece of every person that you have ever had sex with has become a part of you. And because of the powerful nature of sex to connect us physically, emotionally, and spiritually, God designed sex for one specific environment, which is one man and one woman united in a monogamous marriage relationship for one lifetime. Let’s look at the entire quote of Genesis 2:24 to see this reality:

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

God created and designed sex to occur when one man leaves from his home to commit himself in a covenant relationship with one woman for an entire lifetime. Any sex that occurs outside of one man and one woman united in a monogamous marriage relationship for life is outside of God’s design. The members of the church at Corinth, however, misunderstood God’s design for sexuality and the powerful nature of sex as God designed it.

Parents, one of the biggest mistakes that we can make is to try to tell and convince our children that sex is bad. This is a mistake for two reasons. First, all our children have to do is to go look in the mirror to see that sex is not bad. Seriously. All a child has to do is say, “if sex is bad, then why am I here? And what about all my brothers and sisters? I mean are you going to try and convince your child that you just had sex one time and decided it was bad?  How is that argument going to go over? Second, and unfortunately, many of the friends of your children are already experimenting with sex. So, when you tell your children that sex is bad and then they hear their friends talking about how great sex is, you have just lost credibility to speak into your child’s life about sex.

And the church historically has done a horrible job when it comes to talking about sex. That is why many of you wanted to cringe in you seats when we began to talk about sex, isn’t it? Many of us have sat in an environment where a red faced preached pounded the pulpit and spewed condemnation when it came to sex. However, the Bible clearly teaches that sex is an awesome gift from God that is divinely designed to be experienced in one environment- marriage.

In verse 17, we see Paul contrast the one flesh relationship that occurs during sexual intercourse with the eternal relationship that occurs with Jesus Christ by stating that the one who unites himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Paul’s point here is that the follower of Jesus who is united mystically and spiritually to Jesus Christ will experience a different type of intimacy that is eternal and unbreakable in nature.

The sexual intercourse that occurs in a covenant marriage relationship that provides for the open expression of love in the context of total vulnerability and intimacy is a glimpse of the depth of the intimacy that we will have in our relationship with Jesus for all eternity. And because of this reality, we see the Apostle Paul give a timeless command to followers of Jesus that reveals for us a timeless truth when it comes to lasting relationships.

Friday, we will discover this truth...