The qualities that characterize the life of a person who is walking in love...

This week we have been addressing and attacking perhaps the most prominent and powerful myth about relationships, which is the right person myth. After exposing the right person myth, we looked at a section of a letter that is recorded for us in the New Testament of the Bible, called the book of Ephesians, where we discovered a timeless truth when it comes to love and lasting relationships in that lasting relationships are the result of becoming the right person, not finding the right person.

Unlike the right person myth that is celebrated by our culture and spread by Hollywood, the letters that make up the Bible reveal for us the reality that lasting relationships are the result of becoming the right person. Lasting relationships are not the result of people falling in love. Instead, lasting relationships are the result of people who walking in love by giving those who they are in relationship with what they need most when they deserve it the least. 

Now you might be thinking to yourself “well Dave, how do I know when I am becoming the right person? How do I know when I am walking in love? How do I know that I am giving someone what they need most when they deserve it the least?”

If those questions are running through your mind, I have some more good news for you. In another letter that is recorded for us in the New Testament of our Bibles called the book of 1 Corinthians, we see the Apostle Paul unpack what walking in love practically looks like in our day to day lives. So, let’s look at this section of this letter together, beginning in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

In these verses we see Paul reveal the qualities that characterize the life of a person who is walking in love. When Paul states that love is patient, the word patient literally means to bear up under provocation without complaint. A person who walks in love is longsuffering in their dealings with those around them.

When Paul states that love is kind, he is revealing for us the reality that a person who walks in love is positively gracious and generous as they serve others. Instead of rivaling for position or recognition; instead of wanting what others have or not wanting others to have what they do have, a person who walks in love focuses on reflecting Christ’s grace and generosity to others.

When Paul states that love does not brag and is not arrogant, he is explaining that a person who walks in love does not have an exaggerated self concept that results in one being full of themselves and in one taking pride in their own accomplishments. Then, in verse 5, Paul explains that love does not act unbecomingly. In other words, a person who walks in love does not behave disgracefully or dishonorably with poor manners.

In addition, a person who walks in love does not seek its own; it does not seek one’s own advantage or benefit by being insensitive and careless. A person who walks in love, Paul explains is not easily irritated or provoked into sudden outbursts of anger.

When Paul states that love does not take into account a wrong suffered, he is painting a word picture of a scorecard. Paul’s point here is that a person who walks in love does not keep a scorecard as to keep track of all the times that one has been offended.

Paul then continues in verse 6 by explaining that love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth. What Paul is communicating to us in this phrase is that a person who walks in love is driven to be excited about the truth of the Christian life and to rejoice in what is good, proper, and right when it comes to how they relate to God and one another.

Paul then concludes his description of the qualities that characterize the life of a person who is walking in love in verse 7 by stating that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. To bear all things means to protect and guard others from exposure to harm.

When Paul uses the phrase believe all things, he is revealing the reality that a person who walks in love has no suspicion or cynicism. To hope all things, for Paul, involves having a positive outlook on the future, regardless of our current circumstances. Paul then concludes by explaining that Biblical love endures all things. In other words, a person who walks in love is not fickle, but instead holds on and remains faithful.

So, with all of this in mind, here is a question to consider: Are these the qualities that characterize how you conduct your life when it comes to your relationships? Would the person that you are seeking to experience a lasting relationship with say that these are the characteristics that mark your life? Would the people around you that know you best say that these are the characteristics that mark your life?

Because these are the characteristics of a person who is focused on becoming the right person and that conducts their day to day life that reveals and reflects the love of Christ in their relationships with others. And the timeless reality is that lasting relationships are the result of becoming the right person, not finding the right person.

So how are you attempting to experience love and lasting relationships?  Are you attempting to experience a lasting relationship through the right person myth that is celebrated by our culture and spread by Hollywood? Or are you attempting to experience a lasting relationship by becoming the right person that the person you are looking for is looking for?