Embracing our identity as a follower of Jesus in marriage will lead wives to willingly embrace and place themselves under a husband’s godly leadership...

This week, we have been looking at a section of a letter that is recorded for us in the Bible called the book of Ephesians. Wednesday, we talked about the reality that both men and women were created by God in His relational image and are of equal value and worth in His sight. And as a result, Adam and Eve were both naked and not ashamed because they were able to be totally transparent and vulnerable with one another. They were united in their love for God and one another and viewed one another with equal value and worth.

Yet while Adam and Eve had equal value and worth in God’s creation, they had different roles and responsibilities to fulfill; Adam was to exercise a role of leadership and authority as first among equals by lovingly leading, providing, and protecting Eve. And Eve was to lovingly coming under and following Adam’s leadership in a way that allows for her spiritual growth and good.

And just like our first parents while men and women have equal value and worth in God’s creation, men and women have different roles and responsibilities to fulfill; men are to exercise a role of leadership and authority as first among equals by lovingly leading, providing, and protecting women in ways that are appropriate to their relationship. Women are to fulfill their role in relationships by lovingly coming under and following godly male leadership in a way that allows for growth in their relationship with Christ and to exercise the gifts that God has given them.

Now a natural and great question that arises here is “well Dave if God really designed marriage relationships to be like this, then why doesn’t my husband do what he is supposed to do? Why doesn’t he lovingly, lead, protect, and provide for me?” Or you may be thinking “Well Dave, if this is the case, if this is God’s design, then why do I want to push back against this so hard?”

These are great questions to ask, and here would be my answer: We push back on this so hard just as our first parents pushed back on this truth. We see their pushback recorded for us just one chapter later, in Genesis 3:

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden '?" The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.'" The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.

Instead of fulfilling his responsibility to lovingly, lead, protect, and provide for his wife, Adam cowardly chose to allow Eve to lead their relationship. God gave His command to Adam, who was expected to lead the couple in following the commandment. The result was disobeying God’s command and sin entered the world and corrupted God’s design and creation. We see the specific consequences of our first parent’s sin that leads women to push back against their role in marriage relationships in Genesis 3:16:

To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."

What is so interesting here is that this phrase “your desire will be for your husband” is not referring to a sexual or relational desire. We know that to be the case because this phrase is used just one chapter later, in Genesis chapter four. After God rejected an act of worship that was offered by Adam and Eve’s son, named Cain. Cain was very angry. He was so angry that his anger was revealed in his countenance or body language. And it is in this context that we see this phrase appear again in Genesis 4:7:

"If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

You see, sin was crouching at Cain’s door, desiring to dominate and manipulate Cain into rebelling against God. And in the same way, as a result of our first parent’s sin, all women throughout history have a natural bent and desire to rebel against God’s design in creation by seeking to usurp and rebel against God’s design for marriage relationships by attempting to exercise leadership and domination over men.

And as a result of our first parent’s sin, men tend to abdicate their leadership responsibilities and instead function as either cowards or chauvinists. And that is why Paul reinforces God’s design when it comes to the role and goal that a woman has in a marriage relationship with the following statement in Ephesians 5:24:

But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Paul reinforces God’s design for women within a marriage relationship by explaining that just as followers of Jesus are to willingly place themselves under His leadership as they exist in community with one another, wives are to willingly place themselves under the leadership of their husbands in a way that follows their godly leadership in a marriage relationship. And what makes this statement even more difficult is the last two words in everything. This is not just about what occurs in the bedroom, or the laundry room. Wives are to willingly place themselves under the leadership of their husbands in every aspect of their marriage.

Now ladies, here is why this timeless truth is so, so important. This timeless truth is so, so important because Paul is revealing for us the reality that your willingness to place yourself under the leadership of Jesus will be reflected in your willingness to place yourself under your husband’s godly leadership. You see, as followers of Jesus, we can often find ourselves practically living life in this manner: God you can be large and in charge of these parts of my life, but when it comes to my money, when it comes to my habits, or when it comes to my marriage, I will be large and in charge of those parts of my life.

 However, Jesus desires to be large and in charge of every part of our lives, including our marriages. And when God created marriage, He divinely designed specific roles and goals within marriage that result in God’s glory and our good. And it is here that we see that Apostle Paul reveal for us a timeless truth when it comes to how a woman's unique identity as a follower of Jesus impacts her role and responsibility within a marriage relationship.

And that timeless truth is that embracing our identity as a follower of Jesus in marriage will lead wives to willingly embrace and place themselves under a husband’s godly leadership.  Just as it was for the members of the church at Ephesus, just as it has been for followers of Jesus throughout history, our identity as a follower of Jesus in marriage leads wives to willingly place themselves under a husbands godly leadership.

And our willingness as husbands and wives to embrace and place ourselves within those roles that flow from our identity as a follower of Jesus will have a profound impact on the depth and intimacy we have with Christ.