Marriage matters to Jesus because what God has united must not be divided...

This week, we have been asking the question Does marriage matter to Jesus?” by looking at an event from history that has been preserved and recorded for us in an account of Jesus life in the Bible called the gospel of Matthew. In this event from history, Matthew tells us that some Pharisees came to Jesus to test Him with a question that they believed would be controversial enough and emotional enough to drive the crowds away from Jesus and toward them: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?"

Jesus, in His answer to the question, reinforced the reality that marriage, according to God’s design, is not simply about love, or sex, or a legal piece of paper. Instead, Jesus was reinforcing God’s design for marriage as being about bringing the distinctiveness of a man and a woman together to complement one another by uniting them together in a covenant commitment for their lifetime.

And because of that reality, Jesus responded to the question by the Pharisees by giving them a command concerning marriage. And that command was that no man was to separate, or divide into two, what God had made into one as a result of the covenant commitment that had been made before God and man.

The Pharisees responded to Jesus answer by asking Jesus a second question: "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?" The Pharisees were basically saying to Jesus “Well if God didn’t want anyone to separate what had been joined together in marriage, then why did God command us to get divorces?  And to back up their point, the Pharisees quoted from a section of a letter that has been preserved and recorded for us in the Old Testament called the book of Deuteronomy.

The Pharisees were basically saying to Jesus, “we have a verse to prove that you are wrong. Jesus you are such a hard liner that you won’t let anyone get divorces, but here God commands that there are situations where divorces are okay. Jesus you are such a legalist, but we are more loving and gracious.” You see, the Pharisees believed that they had trapped Jesus by painting Him as being an unloving legalist while portraying themselves as the people of grace and love.

While the Lord was establishing restrictions on the already existing practice of divorce that was occurring among the Jewish people so that divorce would not become too easy and abused so as to create a legalized form of adultery, the Pharisees and the Jewish people of Jesus day had twisted and manipulated the Lord’s words through Moses in such a way that made it easy for people to get a divorce.

Jesus however, pointed the Pharisees, and the crowds watching this confrontation back to God’s design for marriage by proclaiming “but from the beginning it has not been this way.” In other words, Jesus here is basically saying “God did not command you to get divorces because it was okay. Instead, God permitted you to get divorces because of the unyielding nature of your selfish hearts which resulted in you getting divorces regardless of what God had to say. But make no mistake, God’s design and desire for marriage has not changed since the beginning of time.”

Today, we will see Jesus hammer His point home by making a statement that would have taken the breath of the crowd away. Let’s look at that statement together, in Matthew 19:9:

"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Now when Jesus uses the word immorality, this word refers to any unlawful sexual activity that goes against God’s design for sexuality, which is sexual activity between one man and one woman for one lifetime in a covenant marriage relationship. And so often, when people look at Jesus words here, the focus is on this little phrase, except for immorality, which is known in church mumbo jumbo talk as the exception clause. This phrase is often pointed to as a reason to justify getting a divorce.

However, this phrase is not the point that Jesus is trying to make here. Jesus point is not when someone is able to get a divorce. Instead, Jesus point, with the context of Deuteronomy 24 in front of everyone listening to His words, is that regardless of whether or not a woman had committed adultery, for a man to divorce her is to portray her as an adulteress who becomes an adulteress if she remarries. In addition, Jesus points out that the man who marries after being divorced, regardless for the reasons for the divorce, commits adultery.

Jesus point is that the issue is not divorce, as God permits divorce. The issue is remarriage. The issue is when can a person who has been divorced get remarried. Jesus point here is that in light of God’s design of marriage as being a covenant commitment between one man and one woman for the entirety of one’s lifetime, anyone who breaks that covenant commitment to enter into another covenant commitment is guilty of adultery.  

This is how we apply what Jesus states about marriage at the church where I serve when it comes to the issue of divorce and remarriage: We believe that the Jesus and the letters that make up the Bible teach that God allows divorce in instances of unfaithfulness/adultery, abandonment and abuse, and that a person could be remarried if they were divorced for those reasons and if reconciliation with their former spouse is impossible, due to either the death or the remarriage of the divorced spouse.

Now your natural reaction might be to object, to push back, to resist what Jesus has just said. And if we were having a conversation at the courtyard coffeehouse, the conversation would sound something like this: “How can you be so sure that Jesus words really mean that? After all Dave, there are many pastors who would disagree with what you just said. So, what makes you think that you are right and that they are wrong? What makes you think that Jesus really feels that way about divorce and remarriage?”

If that question, objection, and pushback is running through your mind, I want to let you know that it is a fair question or objection. And my response to that question, objection, and pushback is this: The reason why I feel confident in my interpretation of this passage is not because I am smarter than anyone else. The reason why I feel confident in my interpretation of this passage is because of how Jesus closest followers responded to His words. We see how Jesus closest followers responded to His words in verse 10:

 The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."

Now the disciples statement here, if communicated in the language we use in our culture today, would have sounded like this: “If this is the case when it comes to marriage; if this is the case when it comes to when a person is permitted to get a divorce, then it is better not to marry." You see, the disciples, and the crowds listening, clearly understood what Jesus was saying.

The disciples, and the crowds listening, clearly understood that Jesus was not giving them an exception clause so that they could get out of marriage. Instead, the disciples, and the crowds listening, fully understood that Jesus was giving them a command not to separate or divide what had been connected and united by God in marriage. And because of that reality, the disciples believed that it would be better not to marry at all. Now notice how Jesus responds to their statement, which we see in verse 11-12:

 But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. ¹² "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

Now when Jesus says, "Not all men can accept this statement” He is referring to the disciple’s statement that it is better not to marry at all. Jesus then explained that there are some people who do not marry, which He refered to as eunuchs.

Now Jesus statement here, if communicated in the language we use in our culture today, would have sounded something like this: There are some men who do not get married because they are impotent and cannot help produce children, so they decide not to marry at all. There are some men who do not get married because they have been castrated, so they decide not to get married. And there are some men who do not get married because they choose to remain celibate, so they decide not to marry at all. So, if you want to take the position that it is better to not marry in light of God’s desire and design, then don’t get married.”

Notice that Jesus does not waffle or waver here. Notice that Jesus does not say “Oh, I am sorry that this type of commitment is so difficult for you, let me change what I said. Let me have a meeting with God and let’s see if We can work things out so that the terms of marriage would be more acceptable to you.” Instead, Jesus doubles down and does not move or compromise. 

And it is here that we see revealed for us the timeless answer to the question “Does marriage matter to Jesus?” And that timeless answer is this: Marriage matters to Jesus because what God has united must not be divided. Marriage matters to Jesus because God has a Divine desire and design for marriage since the beginning of time. 

Marriage, according to God’s Divine desire and design is that a man and woman cut the cord, so to speak, from their parents and join together in a covenant commitment that involves one man and one woman for one lifetime and become one flesh. Marriage is about bringing the distinctiveness of a man and a woman together to complement one another by uniting them together in a covenant commitment for their lifetime.

And because of that reality marriage matters to Jesus because what God has united must not be divided. Now a natural question that could arise here is “Well Dave why does marriage matter so much to Jesus?” Next week, we will spend our time together asking and answering that question…