Our jealousy dishonors God and destroys relationships...

This week, we have been looking at a section of the very first letter in our Bibles, called the book of Genesis. Wednesday, we looked at the impact that jealousy had on the relationship between Jacob and his wives. We ended with Laban and his sons responded to Jacob’s prosperity by becoming jealous of Jacob. While there had always been tension between Jacob and Laban as a result of Laban’s deception, that tension was now replaced by animosity. You see Laban and his family wanted the prosperity that Jacob had and did not want Jacob to have the prosperity that he did have. Today, we will see the Lord enter into the situation in verse Genesis 31:3:

 Then the LORD said to Jacob, "Return to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you." So Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to his flock in the field, and said to them, "I see your father's attitude, that it is not friendly toward me as formerly, but the God of my father has been with me. "You know that I have served your father with all my strength. "Yet your father has cheated me and changed my wages ten times; however, God did not allow him to hurt me. "If he spoke thus, 'The speckled shall be your wages,' then all the flock brought forth speckled; and if he spoke thus, 'The striped shall be your wages,' then all the flock brought forth striped. "Thus God has taken away your father's livestock and given them to me. "And it came about at the time when the flock were mating that I lifted up my eyes and saw in a dream, and behold, the male goats which were mating were striped, speckled, and mottled. "Then the angel of God said to me in the dream, 'Jacob,' and I said, 'Here I am.'  "He said, 'Lift up now your eyes and see that all the male goats which are mating are striped, speckled, and mottled; for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. 'I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar, where you made a vow to Me; now arise, leave this land, and return to the land of your birth.'"  Rachel and Leah said to him, "Do we still have any portion or inheritance in our father's house? "Are we not reckoned by him as foreigners? For he has sold us, and has also entirely consumed our purchase price. "Surely all the wealth which God has taken away from our father belongs to us and our children; now then, do whatever God has said to you."

In the midst of the animosity that was fueled by jealousy, the Lord appears to Jacob and commands him to return to the land that He had promised his grandfather Abraham and his father Isaac. The Lord here is reminding Jacob of his vow to the Lord that if the Lord’s presence, protection, and provision would be with him, then he would follow the Lord and worship the Lord at Bethel by giving back ten percent of all that he received from the Lord.

Now God is saying, it is time for you to fulfill that vow. It is time for you to head back to the land that I promised to your grandfather Abraham and your father Isaac. Jacob then explains to his two wives God’s command and reminder of the vow that he had made to God.

Rachel and Leah respond to Jacob by wholeheartedly agreeing with him. You see, Leah and Rachel both recognized how their father had used them to deceive Jacob. For twenty years, they had watched Laban deceive and mistreat their husband. Leah and Rachel both recognized that Laban’s jealousy of Jacob had resulted in them being thought of and treated as outsiders.

And as a result, they were ready and willing to bail on their father and their family to move to a place that they had never been before. You see, Laban’s jealousy resulted in the destruction of his relationship with his daughters. We see what happens next in verse 17:

 Then Jacob arose and put his children and his wives upon camels; and he drove away all his livestock and all his property which he had gathered, his acquired livestock which he had gathered in Paddan-aram, to go to the land of Canaan to his father Isaac. When Laban had gone to shear his flock, then Rachel stole the household idols that were her father's. And Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean by not telling him that he was fleeing. So he fled with all that he had; and he arose and crossed the Euphrates River, and set his face toward the hill country of Gilead.

As soon as an opportunity presented itself, Jacob secretly took off, taking his family and his prosperity with him. Moses tells us that as they took off, Rachel stole the household idols. Now a natural question that arises here is “why would Rachel steal the household idols?”

The reason that Rachel stole the household idols was simple. Rachel, after being used by her father, wanted to get back at her father. Rachel stole the household idols out of vengeance in order to get back at her father. We see Laban’s response to Jacob leaving in verse 22:

When it was told Laban on the third day that Jacob had fled, then he took his kinsmen with him and pursued him a distance of seven days' journey, and he overtook him in the hill country of Gilead. God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream of the night and said to him, "Be careful that you do not speak to Jacob either good or bad."

Upon hearing that Jacob and his daughters had secretly bailed on him, Laban responded by hunting them down. After 7 days of pursuit, Laban caught up with Jacob. And while Laban had plans about what he was going to do to Jacob, those plans were overtaken by a warning from the Lord in a dream.

The Lord basically says to Laban “You better take heed and be on guard when it comes to what you have to say to Jacob, because I am present and I will be listening”. We see what happens next in verse 25:

 Laban caught up with Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country, and Laban with his kinsmen camped in the hill country of Gilead. Then Laban said to Jacob, "What have you done by deceiving me and carrying away my daughters like captives of the sword? "Why did you flee secretly and deceive me, and did not tell me so that I might have sent you away with joy and with songs, with timbrel and with lyre; and did not allow me to kiss my sons and my daughters? Now you have done foolishly. "It is in my power to do you harm, but the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying, 'Be careful not to speak either good or bad to Jacob.' "Now you have indeed gone away because you longed greatly for your father's house; but why did you steal my gods?" Then Jacob replied to Laban, "Because I was afraid, for I thought that you would take your daughters from me by force. "The one with whom you find your gods shall not live; in the presence of our kinsmen point out what is yours among my belongings and take it for yourself." For Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them. So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent and into the tent of the two maids, but he did not find them. Then he went out of Leah's tent and entered Rachel's tent. Now Rachel had taken the household idols and put them in the camel's saddle, and she sat on them. And Laban felt through all the tent but did not find them. She said to her father, "Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before you, for the manner of women is upon me." So he searched but did not find the household idols. Then Jacob became angry and contended with Laban; and Jacob said to Laban, "What is my transgression? What is my sin that you have hotly pursued me?

Laban basically says to Jacob “Why did you take off without letting me say goodbye? And although I could do harm, your God appeared to me in a dream and told me to leave you alone and let you leave. I understand that you wanted to go back home, but how could you repay me for all the good that I have done to you by stealing my gods?” Jacob, unaware that Rachel had taken the gods, basically says “I bailed on you because I was afraid that you would deceive me and deal shadily with me, as you have done for the previous 20 years. And now you are going to accuse me of stealing from you after you have stolen from me all these years. Go ahead look through my stuff. You can kill whoever has stolen from you”.

As Laban begins to search through their possessions, Rachel realizes she is in deep trouble. Rachel, who has watched and learned from her father the art of deception, in turn deceives her father by hiding the idols in a pack that she was sitting on. After Laban came up empty, Jacob angrily confronts Laban. Jacob basically says “What is your problem? What evidence is there against me? This is how you have treated me for the past 20 years. You have deceived me over and over again. I do not trust you as far as I can throw you because you have used me, cheated me, and deceived me. If it was not for God, you would have taken everything away from me”.

Now that is some in-law drama, isn’t it? The jealousy and deception of this dysfunctional family destroyed their relationships. Actually there was no trust and there was no relationship, which we see as Moses concludes this story in Genesis 31:43:

 Then Laban replied to Jacob, "The daughters are my daughters, and the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine. But what can I do this day to these my daughters or to their children whom they have borne? "So now come, let us make a covenant, you and I, and let it be a witness between you and me." Then Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. Jacob said to his kinsmen, "Gather stones." So they took stones and made a heap, and they ate there by the heap. Now Laban called it Jegar-sahadutha, but Jacob called it Galeed. Laban said, "This heap is a witness between you and me this day." Therefore it was named Galeed, and Mizpah, for he said, "May the LORD watch between you and me when we are absent one from the other. "If you mistreat my daughters, or if you take wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us, see, God is witness between you and me." Laban said to Jacob, "Behold this heap and behold the pillar which I have set between you and me. "This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass by this heap to you for harm, and you will not pass by this heap and this pillar to me, for harm. "The God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us." So Jacob swore by the fear of his father Isaac.

Moses tells us that Laban and Jacob entered into a covenant, which is an agreement between two parties. And as with so many agreements this agreement was born out of the jealousy and lack of trust between Laban and Jacob. In this agreement, we see Jacob agree not to mistreat Laban’s daughters or enter into any additional marriages. In addition Jacob and Laban agree to stay separated from one another.

And to ensure that the two remain separated from one another, Jacob built a pillar of stones that would serve and a border and boundary between them. This pillar of stones, in the language of Aramaic or Hebrew, literally means a heap of witness. And this heap of witness would testify to the Lord, who would judge both men when it came to holding up this agreement.

 And it is here, in this story, that we see God reveal for us a timeless truth that can powerfully impact our relationship with God and others. And that timeless truth is this: Our jealousy dishonors God and destroys relationships. Just as it was for Leah and Rachel; just as it was for Laban and Jacob; just as it has been throughout human history, our jealousy dishonors God and destroys relationships.

When we act out of jealousy toward others, we dishonor God. I mean, do you think that the Lord was up in heaven going “good job Rachel and Leah; good job Jacob and Laban; way to make Me look good”. Of course not. You see, when we are jealous of others we dishonor God. We dishonor God because when we are jealous, we are basically saying to God, “God you screwed up.  You don’t know what you are doing. If you knew what you were doing you would have given me what they have. God you are not enough for me. God I want what they have and I don’t want them to have what they have because I know better that you what I need”.

And when we act out of jealousy toward others, we destroy our relationships with others. We destroy our relationships with others because we no longer want the best for them. Instead, we want what they have and do not want them to have what they do have. So instead of loving people we use people. Instead of building up others, we tear others down. And as a result of our jealousy, we destroy our relationship with them.

So here is a question to consider: Are you jealous of others? Do you want what others have and not want others to have what they have? Do you love and serve others to build them up, or do you use and tear people down in order to build yourself up?